June 15, 2012

It was a last minute idea, but I had to do it…I decided to take an all day trip to Chicago. My goal was to get a bike rental and pedal the day away merrily along the shoreline of Lake Michigan. Of course plans changed once I got there. I hadn’t looked ahead, or I would have known that the Blue Angels had gone before me. The week belonged to the Navy air show. So, what was a girl to do? Of course, I went with it! I parked my car across from the Water Tower Place (in case I wanted to do some window shopping later), and sunglasses in place, and beach towel and sunblock in hand, I crossed Michigan Ave. on the hunt for a fresh lemonade stand.

Along the way, I walked along Chicago Ave. and found the masses walking toward the pedestrian tunnel to cross over to the beach. I found myself staring into the eyes of some of the people who walked past me. Was it sadness, lethargy, brokenness? All I knew was that I was coming into the city invigorated, ready for the day, but it wasn’t even 10, and many around me looked well-worn for the day. I knew what it was I was seeing in their eyes. A sense of hopelessness. It was a look I saw often around me, a sense of searching and longing for something they just couldnt’ get a hold of. And, I was getting ready to take another casual bouncing step forward, I knew that I had what they were looking for. But, how would I let them know? I tried to smile, a smile of love and hope as I walked along. Maybe someone would be encouraged. Some smiled back. Grateful. Others turned their eyes away. Ashamed. I felt a pang of sadness. But, tried to brush that away. I had a beautiful day ahead for me!

After I crossed over, I found the place where I would get a tall tumbler full of freshly squeezed lemonade. And, I also found the place where I would look into the eyes of a homeless man. Funny thing, though, he didn’t look all desperate and begging. He did look like he was going to ask me something, though. But, I beat him to it. “Do you want a drink?”

“I’ll just take a glass of water, sweetie. That would be nice.” I wanted to cringe when he called me sweetie. I don’t like pet names being uttered by people I don’t know in my life. And, names like “darling, dear, and sweetie” are reserved for my future husband. However, for some reason hearing him say it, I didn’t lose my peace. He was an older man with greying temples and kind blue eyes. He could have been someone’s grandfather. Why was he sitting on the pier with all the bags? Everyone’s story was unique and different. I’m sure he had one of his own to share.

“There you are. Are you here to watch the Blue Angels today?” I ask making small conversation, getting ready to move along and find my comfy spot in the sand.

He evaded my superficial question, and instead, asked me one of his own. “Why are you here today? What is it that you’re looking for?”

The question took me back. I mean, I had just passed a crowd of people, looking into their eyes and thinking the same thing. Did this man see something in my eyes that seemed searching?

“Um…I came to ride my bike and enjoy the day, but found there’s an air show. No biggy, though.” I tried to brush away his question, as I made attempts to move forward. “I gotta get going to find my spot. Enjoy the cool drink! God bless you!”

And, I moved on along. As I walked away, I was reminded of the verse that talked about how when someone gives a cool glass of water to a prophet, that the person surely wouldn’t lose the prophet’s reward or something like that. Was this guy a prophet? He seemed like a thirsty, nice old, homeless man at first glance. But, the question he asked gently wafted in the air around me. I almost felt as if God was challenging me to lay my heart bare before Him again. Right here in the sands of Michigan Lake.

I found my spot and got settled in. Lemonade. Think lemonade. Think enjoyable day. No deep thoughts. But, it was too late.

So, I was thankful, in a way, I guess, when the guy tumbled over on me, spilling his Rt. 44 Ocean Water all over my back and hair.

“Oh, no! I’m SO sorry!” The guy started desperately wiping my hair and mopping my back with his free napkins.

Na-uh.

You wouldn’t believe it.

I couldn’t believe it.

But…

It was Ken!

And, what was he just doing?

I quickly took the napkins from him and took over, and made sure that my sunglasses were in place. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize me from the pool.

“That’s okay. Maybe I can take a dip in the lake later. No biggy,” I say trying not to be nervous. There was no need, though, for me to be anxious. He hadn’t recognized me at all.

“Well, I was just focused on the last plane, and I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he tried to explain, turning a bit red. “I’m really sorry.” He reached out his hand to help me up.

It made me realize that my assessment of Ken’s blindness wasn’t too far from the mark. Even here, he hadn’t seen me. Or, he wouldn’t have run right into me. But, he DID run right into me…hmmmm….

“Wait here, I’ll get some more napkins and some water for you.” And, just like that the blondhaired wonder darted off toward the lemonade stand.

I couldn’t believe he’d run into me. Was I looking for him? Was I even thinking about him? Or, better yet…Why was he here today? Was he searching for something?

All I could think of at the moment was God’s words about asking and seeking and knocking and the door being opened. Bits and pieces of this was wafting through the air along with the homeless man’s questions from earlier. Why was I here? What was I searching for?

Seek, ask, knock…

I realized in that moment that God had some things He wanted me to open my heart up to before Him. He wanted me to talk to Him about the depths of my heart. To seek His face regarding the dreams and longings shut up so deep within me. He wanted me to dare to ask Him about the desires of my heart, to come before Him in prayer, and keeping knocking and coming until He’d give me His answers.

And, I realized all that as I was standing there, toweling my now blue mane, digging my big toe in the beach sands, waiting for Ken to come back with his napkins and water. And, overhead, I heard another Blue Angel in flight…

For the first time in a long time, I realized that with God anything was possible. And, so I found myself being willing to seek, being willing to ask and knock, being willing to wait for the answer…

After all…

#I’mWorththeCost…ofhisfindingme.