Sept. 24, 2016

Fall has always been such a season full of beautiful wonder. Everything looks like a celebration, a glorious, majestic…ending. If only all endings could be full of such radiant grace. The trees start to fade into autumn shades of mocha, rust, and late golden apple hues. The breeze begins to whistle out its low-keyed lullabies while small drops of rain randomly fall from the skies at unsuspecting moments of the day.

This was what it looked like on campus on my first day of college in early September. Trying to find my way to the registration building, I kept getting lost in the colors around me, all the while watching the sky to see if it would start pouring down rain. I had left my umbrella in the dorm room.

The place was packed with college students. Some looked lost. Some looked tired. Already? We hadn’t even bought our books!

Myself, I was feeling reflective. I wish I had a camera, so I could take pictures of all the metaphors regarding change I kept seeing all around me.

Fall is all about change.

Change.

Such a hard, beautiful word that means hope, but we don’t always know that at the time.

I had turned a new chapter in my life. I was facing so much of that change. I left home. I left the comfortable. I left Ken…

The day after I had run into him this summer in Chicago at the Blue Angels air-show, I had a realization. Ken truly could not see as he had no clue who I was. It was no longer worth my time to daydream about a guy who was obviously oblivious of my existence. So, I left Ken. Back there in the chapter of yesterday.

Finally getting in the back of the long line at the registration building, somebody bumped into my heavy backpack, bringing me back into real living.

“Uh, I’m sorry,” said the cute guy with blonde hair, braces, and a fading face tan sprinkled with freckles across his nose and cheeks. He had on a baseball cap, too. “I guess I’m trying to figure out where the line ends?”

No.

It wasn’t Ken.

It really wasn’t.

And, just like that, I was into my new chapter.

“Well, I guess you found it!” I said, possibly a little too chipper than even my normal voice. He shrugged his shoulder shyly, nodded, and got in line. I couldn’t decide if I were flirting or taking advantage of the newfound freedom of no longer holding on to dreams of Ken ever seeing me. Obviously, this guy hadn’t seen me, either, or he wouldn’t have bumped into me, but, hey, this was my new chapter. Anything was possible.

The golden boy who stood behind me held a certain mystery, in spite of his clumsy first impression. I took a few seconds to recall who he reminded me of. Within seconds, I had it. I secretly placed a bat-mask on his face. There. I could see it now. He had the young resemblance of Chris O’ Donnell. For all purposes, I would now be calling him Robin.

Robin and I made small talk in line about our classes and professors. We talked about where we were from. He was from around St. Louis. I was from around Central Illinois. We talked about missing home. We talked about our intended major. He was going into physical therapy, and I was going to be a Journalism major. And, just like that, we were saying goodbye, as we were at the head of the line, parting ways to pick up our schedules and books for our fall classes. Just like that change happened again.

Walking back toward my dorm, looking up at the dark clouds brewing, I realized I never got Robin’s name, and he didn’t get mine. I knew deep inside I would never see him again. Not in that same manner of awkward, sweet space we just briefly shared.

He is an athlete; I am a writer. So, I know these things.

Just like I know why I wore a black and purple trunkini last summer, rather than a real bathing suit. Just like I know that I need to sign up for fitness classes at the gym, but it will probably be last on my list of priority of things to do as I will be walking every day all over campus, after all! Just as I know I couldn’t tell which baseball team was on his baseball cap, as it wasn’t the Cubs or Cardinals.

It began to rain. It was first a sweet reminder that fall was here, and then within minutes, it began to pour. I was caught trying to jump puddles on the quad in my yellow flip-flops. All the while trying to cover my head with the folder of new student information I received, and they were getting soaked.

I had to stop for a second under a red maple tree, so I could put the folder in a dry place. I was squatting down, shoving my folder in my backpack when suddenly, I saw a black pair of flip-flops standing in front of me. The rain had stopped suddenly. And, yet I still saw it all around me.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Asked a deep baritone voice. That’s when I quickly looked up. I looked up into the most gorgeous sea of balmy blue.

KEN was holding an umbrella over me.

Yes. Ken!

Come on brain, let it register: Yes. Ken!

Yes, again!

In my new chapter.

Ken was standing there, holding an umbrella over me.

“Um, yeah.” I said, standing back up and placing my backpack behind me. The rain had suddenly calmed to a steady sprinkling. I quickly readjusted my wet long ponytail, and wiped the stream of mascara and eyeliner streaking my face. Of course I would meet him like this.

“I’m on the campus committee to help with the incoming freshmen registration. Since it began to rain, they gave me umbrella duty.” Ken said with a sweet sideways smile. “May I walk you to your dorm?”

So, he had no clue still who I was. He didn’t recognize me even yet. It’s true I was wearing a Cardinal’s baseball cap pretty low to shield my face. It was a good thing, since most of it was covered in black, running mascara in the moment.

“Yeah, sure!” I said without hesitation. What was Ken doing here? Did this possibly mean that we would be attending college on the same campus? Didn’t I just leave him in yesterday’s chapter? How did he so suddenly pop up again into today’s new one?

“I think we should kinda walk fast, though,” he warned, “Another deluge is coming any second!” And, with that, we slightly jogged back to my dorm.

In flipflops.

Splashing over puddles.

Under an umbrella.

No words.

Just running…

Towards fall.

All of it.

Change.

Hope.

God is here with me.

That is all I know.

And, as I look over a Ken, the knight in flipflops who rescued me from the torrential rain, I find myself realizing an important truth that I want to hold closely in my heart, as I wait for my future husband.

#I’m Worth the Cost…of His Protection.

Thank You, Lord!

*******

Devo Section:

Haven’t we as ladies ever felt intimidated by change? Sometimes we cling to relationships that are meant for only a season, afraid to let them go when their season is over. Sometimes, we are trying to take all we have learned and stay the same, go back into the same. But, we never can. When change starts to happen, we have to move with it. It’s God’s way of growing us up, moving us on in our life stories.

One thing I realized while writing this today, though, is that change doesn’t always have to mean loss. God showed me today that change is actually more about HOPE. We change, things change, life changes, and we are moved from glory to glory. As we grow from glory to glory, we grow in Hope. Jesus is ultimately our Hope.

We can be assured that no matter what happens in the chapters of our lives that when we have a relationship with Jesus Christ, everything is ultimately being worked out for our good, and He is leading us deeper and more richly into His Hope.

Every loss. Every change. Every letting go.

All of it is leading us deeper and deeper into His Hope.

Can you imagine the shift in our perspective when we get this truth resting and growing deep inside us?

Sweet sisters, don’t waste time on yesterday’s chapters. Live today. Let HOPE write your new chapter today. You will find that everything that you need is with you already TODAY. HOPE is with you.

As for the husband application, just know that if HOPE has a guy for you, HOPE will bring him into your life. Just keep trusting and resting in God and guarding your heart, so you don’t run after the wrong guys. Let our God of Hope protect your heart, and in time, if His plan for you is marriage, He will bring the right man along to be your protector. So, leave all that with the Lord, and just keep your eyes fixed on the Author who is HOPE Himself.

After all, I have been learning for myself…

#I’m Worth the Cost… of His Protection

God bless you!