May 15, 2026

Recently, I deleted 23 people off my Facebook. Have you ever done something irrational because you felt hurt by people who may not even ever know that they hurt you?

Many of these were people I had spent the past few years encouraging and praying for, for their dreams, pain, illnesses, for whatever they asked prayer for. It doesn’t make sense then why after investing so much in them I would suddenly just remove them from my social media page.

I realized with one conversation that I was getting hurt by my expectations, but I blamed my friends because they didn’t notice.

When we begin expecting our friends to do or be something other than they are, then quite frankly, that means that we are not doing very well, and maybe it’s time that we take a break and step back from relationships to see what’s going on inside of us.

It’s not really an excuse, but it happened. Our sister whom we had been praying for, for almost two years, the one who had finally started growing out her hair again from chemo treatments and who was smiling and living vibrantly again, she suddenly passed away two weeks ago. And, it was a shock.

I felt so constrained in expression because I could not speak my husband’s family’s language to communicate anything to or with them that I felt were of importance.

Were it not for the translation device in my ear, I wouldn’t have even understood the memorial service that was entirely in Ukrainian.

As I was trying to support my husband, I found myself feeling inadequate and lonely. Grieving like this was not how my family had done it in the past. We were together. We could all speak the same language.

My husband needed me to be his helpmeet, but I was struggling processing the shock of everything we were going through. I couldn’t process my thoughts or feelings, and I felt the need of friends who could see that and help me.

I needed true friends in Christ to pour quality time and words into me, to let me know that God was in control. I needed friends who would remind me that my husband and his family didn’t need the comfort of my words, but just my presence because Christ in me would be enough. I needed my friends to let me know that they cared for us. I just needed to know that they were with us. That’s all.

But, it was a weird moment in time. Friends I had once poured into in their times of crisis (needing a car, a new apartment, prayers for a husband, prayers for healing) were simply just not there for us in grief. I was met with words like, “I’m sorry to hear that. I offer you my condolences.” The only thing is, I didn’t need condolences. I needed to hear, “Is your hubby okay? Are you okay? How is the family doing?” These are the kinds of things friends say. Not, “I offer you condolences.” I needed a hug.

But, see. It’s my expectation. Who am I to expect my friends to say or do something other than what they did?

See my struggle? I had a need to connect, but they didn’t offer that support the way I would have offered it to them.

But, why in the world would I expect more in our internet driven age where people don’t have the quality time to offer soft presence anymore, anyway?

I think it’s because it’s what I hope I would offer to others.

But, I’m learning that when the Bible says to treat others as you would want them to treat you, it doesn’t mean they will treat you that way. It just means that we have to continue being obedient to who we are in Christ, regardless of whether or not others ever figure out that we need their love as well.

Well, this week, I ran away. I’m pretty sure that is not the way to treat others, and I know better. But, by running away I was determined that I need to take care of my heart, my husband, and my relationship with Jesus.

I need to forgive my friends, and now because I ran away, they need to forgive me, too. Two wrongs never make a right.

As we have processed things all week, we know our sister is alive in Christ and at Home, and we are doing okay in our grieving because we know we will see her again. We also have been able to spend some time with the family. Presence really is healing.

But, when it comes to friendships, I am still processing things.

Adult friendships should be mature and mutually strengthening. But, when we have friends of all ages, not everyone is in the same stage, let alone age of life. It takes more patience and love to foster those relationships.

I know God will help me process all these thoughts and feelings and that the people God wants in my life will remain while those who really are not meant to continue being part of our journey will walk a different road.

But, as I process, I want to know how to be a faithful friend to others, even when I face disappointments. I don’t want to run away. I want to be steadfast, just as Christ is steadfast to me.

What about you? Are you really good with friendships? If so, how have you learned to navigate them through all your seasons in your life? Or, are you finding struggle with friendships in this current internet culture. Please feel free to share your thoughts, so we can encourage each other in Christ. I know I’m in process right now. Maybe you are, too?

Blessings, because Jesus is our FAITHFUL FRIEND alway…all the way Home!!!

God bless you,

Christine ❤